now with 200% more existential dread and winged liner

It’s day four of the winter weather apocalypse 2021, which seems as good a time as any to pick up and return to putting down some words here. All it took for me to get back on the horse was…a foot of snow?

It would beat the internal mental flogging I have been giving myself for the past few weeks for not writing. Is writing about writing about being depressed therapeutic?

could this be my new default state?

Me to me: 

Gee, you tried to start a thing writing and borked it up in less than a week. Great job, loser. 

 

So that’s how it’s going for me lately. I feel like there is going to be a lot of collective trauma associated with 2020 and apparently 2021 as well.

I do worry about being able to handle people again once I inevitably go back to working from my actual office. I can’t believe that in the before times, we just let people stand all in our personal space and breathe on us. This six feet of social distancing is the vibe.

 

My entire personality now is anxiety, online shopping, and bingeing makeup videos on YouTube. Sometimes these are related, sometimes they aren’t.

If any part of life ever returns to normal and going places where people are is a thing again, I know how to make myself look like a fucking goddess.

 

These are the things I tell myself now to keep from going completely over the edge.

 

 

 

PS: I wanted to revive my old LJ goth girl mood icons.

Mood: trapped inside the polar vortex